Even after having a couple weeks after the trip to process all that we saw, I still find it difficult to put into words everything I have taken from this experience.  I still remember what Cameron Cole told us on our second day in Birmingham. He explained that there were two misconceptions we might have once we return to North Carolina. First, it is important that we remember that the problems in the South are not exclusive to the area, but found everywhere. Second, the prejudice so apparent in the South cannot be separated from ourselves. Everyone is prejudice in their own way, and until we realize that there will be no change. On the day that Cameron gave us this advice, I found it interesting to ponder, but beyond that it meant little to nothing. Now that we have finished our journey, however, I think his advice is golden. Perhaps the most vaulable piece of information I learned on this trip is that the problems in the South do not only concern Southerners, and those at fault are not limited to bigots. We have a problem in this country that needs to be addressed, by everyone and for everyone. As we toured the South I realized that, like Marcus said, we are only one race, the human race. All the problems that African-Americans must confront are not only a “black problem” but a universal issue that must be addressed and which concerns everyone. And when we refuse to accept any group of people, we are contributing to this problem. We are not separated by the races but by the divisions that we create as a society. As I reflect on this trip I want to remember that I have been given a certain amount of privilege at birth, but that doesn’t mean that I am more or less important, or that I am not affected by others’ amount of privilege.

As I leave this blog and our trip behind, I want to remember that while Africa is experiencing genocide and while the Middle East has bombings each day, there are also  serious issues in the United States that must not be ignored.  There is a population of “invisible voices” in this country that need someone to speak up for them, and if nobody does, it will hurt us all. I have learned that it is the duty of those with privilege to help these invisible voices. I hope to give voice to the population of the US that is unknown to most of our society… this trip made me realize how crucial that is.

It was clear from the first day of the trip that we were all going to learn and experience a lot over the course of the two week course; however, what we were supposed to do with that new wealth of knowledge, besides personal enrichment, was somewhat unclear. However, as I sit here 18 days after the trip the charge is clear. I am supposed to use what I learned to affect change. Whether it be lead a on the topic of stratification in the Deep South or use it to write a national education policy once my PhD is conferred. In short, the course encouraged me to continue to seek knowledge and then use that knowledge to spark a revolution within the circles in which I’m a member.

“I believe that education is the fundamental method of social progress and reform. All reforms which rest simply upon the law, or the threatening of certain penalties, or upon changes in mechanical or outward arrangements, are transitory and futile…. But through education society can formulate its own purposes, can organize its own means and resources, and thus shape itself with definiteness and economy in the direction in which it wishes to move…. Education thus conceived marks the most perfect and intimate union of science and art conceivable in human experience.”  – John Dewey

When Dr. Smith emailed us a few days ago about writing a final journal, my mind raced about all the things I could talk about.  Upon returning home, I have retold the story of our amazing journey many times, each time with different aspects sticking out to me or impacting me more profoundly.  I’ve found it difficult to communicate the passion and emotion seeing so many things first hand has given me.  I want people to understand all the aspects and take in all the sights, smells, and emotions we felt at every step of the way.  I want everyone I know to have an experience like I had, one that leaves you changed forever.  I want everyone else to feel the burden that I feel…that complacency is no longer a desire, no longer an option.  I want all my friends and family to see and feel the impact of injustice and to know that we all need to be working tirelessly to eradicate it.

So many things have changed in my heart in the last 3 weeks.  I don’t really know what I envisioned the trip being like or how I dreamed it would work in my heart.  Never could I have ever imagined two more wonderful weeks.  Never could I have hoped to feel such a strong call on my life.  Growing up in the United Methodist Church, I’ve heard the words of John Wesley over and over again:

“Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
as long as ever you can.”

After the trip, these have taken on all new meaning for me.  It really makes me think about the ways and the places I spend my time.  The idea of doing ALL the good I can in ALL the ways I can goes far beyond the places and ways I currently spend my time.  This is not to say that the things I do are not good nor that they are not worthy of my time.  It is only to say that this trip has made me realized just how precious the resources that I have are, and that what may seem like such a small thing to me would actually mean the world to someone else.

During our last reflection time, Marcus asked us to think about the one thing that we were going to take home with us from the trip…the one thing that would most profoundly impact our actions when we returned.  My response was about the role of the church, specifically the white church, in perpetuating the ideals of racism, oppression, and intolerance.  In my 20 years, I’ve poured myself into many different ministries and faith-based organizations.  In high school, my life revolved around church.  At Wake, my primary involvement is in campus ministries.  It literally broke my heart to learn of the problems an institution that I hold so near and dear to my heart had created in the lives of many.  But in a lot of ways, this is a good thing because it shows how overpowering this impact was to me…and that it leaves me with little option.  While I’ve yet to gain insight on exactly what it means, I feel a strong calling to public service, especially in a way that would reverse any vestiges of this intolerant sentiment.  The church should be filled with love and acceptance.  I don’t know what this ultimately means for my life, vocation, etc, but I do know that it has gripped my heart and shows no sign of letting go.

Earlier this week, I reread Martin Luther King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail.”  I came across a passage that sums up my experience: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”  Most of the things that I saw have little direct bearing on my life…but this doesn’t diminish the fact that they are of utmost importance and fully deserving of my attention.  I am tied to each of the people I met on this trip.  Whatever struggles they face, I need to be paying attention to.  Many of them do not have an ability to fight for themselves.  I, however, have the ability to fight for them.  It may be in small ways now, but I know it will be in big ways in the future.  So fight I will…

When I saw this article on CNN.com it reminded me of our class and our experiences at the Southern Poverty Law Center. It’s so amazing how cases from that time period are being solved in 2007.

Seale Convicted in 1964 Death of Black Teens 

Today was our last full day together. We spent the day traveling and watching movies. Our final stop tonight is at Comfort Suites in Knoxville, TN. Tommorrow we will be getting up at 6:30am to begin traveling to Winston Salem.

It has been a pleasure!

Today we went on a tour of the delta. I was unsure exactly of what we would be doing, so I didn’t really have very many expectations. The only thing that was startling to me was how little recognition is given to important things like Emmett Till’s death. The important Civil Rights locations in Alabama have huge monuments and such. I was glad to hear Dr. Brown say that they are in the process of establishing historical markers for locations like this. It would just be such a shame for events like Till’s death to fade into the backdrop of history, with no continual reminders of the profound impact this had on one of the most important movements in our nation’s history.

We went into one of the poorest neighborhoods I’ve ever seen. While we had lunch at the local drug store, a professor from the local traditionally black university came by to speak to us. He was talking to us about the demographics of the city and my jaw literally dropped at the things he told us. He said that once we drove across the tracks (literally), we would find two black families in the entire affluent side of town. I have no idea what the count in South Tampa would be, but I’m certain we would have way more than that. His point was to show us the intense racial component of socio-economic status. This fact was so alarming to me, that it was barely possible for me to comprehend this reality.

Another interesting thing we learned today was about the development of the blues. Having never learned a single thing about this type of music, everything I learned was so fascinating. I really liked learning about how the music developed in response to the hardship faced by the sharecroppers. Since music is so important to my life and many of my best memories can be associated with specific songs or types of music, I love when others have the same reaction. While it’s tragic that these people had to endure such hardship, I think that music can have such a liberating effect, so it’s wonderful that this group of people were able to use music.

Tonight we went to Po’ Monkeys, which was such a blast! It’s an old juke joint where a blues band was playing. While I thought the environment was a little odd at first, I really started enjoying the music and the atmosphere.

This morning we went to a mega church in New Orleans. Going in, I expected lots of fancy technology, flash displays of church wealth, and a new, modern structure. While the commercialization of the church was abundantly clear, I would not say that the other aspects were necessarily present. When we came in, someone handed us several pieces of paper and brochures…none of which contained an order of worship. Several times during the service, the speakers made announcements, referring to different causes or occasions to give money. I’m certain that I had never heard “and you can make your check out to…and if you want to pay with a credit card” so many times in a CHURCH service. In fact, I’ve never been to a service where money plays such a large role. They took up three different offerings. The first one was for tithing, the second was for some special offering, and the third was for the pastor’s birthday. It was all I could do not to sit open-mouthed for the entirety of this proceeding. This is so radically different from the church where I was raised. In my church, which is United Methodist, they take up the offering once. Sometimes there is a special offering, but it is part of the regular tithe collection. No differentiation is made. And there would most certainly never be a collection taken up for the preacher’s birthday. I found this deeply offensive and even an irresponsible action on the part of a church, located in such a poor community.

After church, we had a lively discussion about this on the bus. When I pointed out how I did not like the idea of taking up a birthday offering, many of the boys acted like this was normal operating procedure, or at least like it was not outside the realm of acceptable actions. They pointed out that the money probably would not go directly to the preacher and that it’s the same as buying her a birthday present. I just feel as if there is a better ways to accomplish the same thing…especially given the neighborhood where this church is located. It is right around the corner from where we stayed over spring break. When we were here then, the people running the organization we were working with said this was one of the poorest areas, with a shockingly high crime rate. It would seem to me that making your church members, who likely live in the area close to the church, feel obligated to give so much money is not an economically responsible decision on the part of the church…at least with respect to supporting its members. I think it is one thing to have church members tithe in support of the church. This is a Biblically rooted exercise that is expected of those who believe. People who support the church can generally turn to the church for support in their times of need, making tithing helpful for allowing the church to give back to you. And this is the entire point of tithing. The idea behind it is to give to God what He deserves because of how good He has been to you…and He will bless you in return. Having a church family to turn to in times of desperate need can be one form of such blessing.

Visiting this church was most definitely a great experience. As I have never been to a church anything like this, it was quite eye opening. However, the extreme commercialization of this church is deeply distressing to me because it takes away from the message of Christianity by giving people the perception that they must or can buy their ways into salvation.

For at least the last year, I have sought to get the tattoo that I finally got last Friday in New Orleans.  My spiritual journey leads me to continue identifying as Christian and has encouraged me to explore various schools/streams of religious thought.  Growing up in the Western world has encouraged me to take a mostly dichotomous approach to life where it must be either this way or that one; encountering some Eastern Philosophy years ago continues to challenge me to think in terms of “both-and”.  The yin-yang has become the image of choice - instead of choosing black or white, why not consider the proper proportion of each to have the most balanced experience?

This notion of “seeking balance” has been a hope of mine since being gripped by a “both-and” mindset/ideology.  The location of my tattoo of the yin-yang is on the inside of my right wrist, symbolically encouraging me to lead/live into a balanced existence.  At the New Orleans point of our experience, this personal desire for balance had crystallized in almost palpable ways.  Hearing personal stories and experiencing rich, sometimes confrontive history has increased my sensitivity to having as many voices represented in the conversation and narrative as possible.  From prisons to jook/juke joints, libraries to churches, and injustice to indifference, perhaps we are on tenuous terms between history and the/our/my future?!

What will  be positively different about me because of this 14-day experience?  How will the pain and discomfort of these teachable moments transition into deep, influential learnings along the next leg of my journey?  In an increasingly “smaller” world where we ironically  find ways to insulate ourselves from truly being with one another, what will emerge as the defining elements of community (personal to global)?

I believe that each of these responses request the compassion, dignity and humanity that only a commitment to authentic balance can bring…

I feel like an old, old woman after two days of riding the bus around the Mississippi Delta. I confess to being geographically challenged and ignorant of the Delta before this. I actually thought the Delta was the area around New Orleans, rather than the section of alluvial land further north between the Mississippi and Yazoo Rivers.

I also confess to being musically challenged because while I have heard of BB King, I did not know Charlie Patton or Robert Johnson before Monday’s endless bus ride. Growing up in Motown, I started to think of them as the Smokey Robinson and Little Stevie Wonder of the South. We were educated by several Blues scholars who were very excited about the “Blues Trail” of markers, commemorating their legendary heroes. I refused to go to Charlie Patton’s grave, however, because we were warned that the recent mowing may have scared up some snakes!

Speaking of snakes (skipping the Po Monkey’s scene altogether, under the bus motto of “what happens at Po Monkey’s stays at Po Monkey’s”) they were mentioned again today at Parchman Prison as one possible source of the mysterious “bologna” or “wolf booty” that the inmates are served for lunch. We were privileged to see the video monitoring room where over 300 cameras capture live images of all sections of the prison. We were all stunned to see a red liquid pooling out into the hall from a cell and sure enough, the monitors said it was blood from an inmate who had cut himself. They didn’t seem to be too concerned, as they said it was a common technique to get into the camp hospital.

Parchman turned out to be pretty intense, made all the more meaningful to me because of the recent experience of a close family member of mine who was recently released from prison. Many details in the speeches by the inmates resonated with me, especially the ones about family. Dr. Hattery says that when a person is imprisoned, his/her entire family is also imprisoned and that seems very true.

I have to start this by saying I have NEVER seen this much farmland in my life: cotton fields, rice fields, corn fields, catfish ponds, etc, etc, etc. The Mississippi Delta definitely is agricultural country. Along with its agriculture, Miss. is also famous for Blues music. There are so many names beyond the legendary B.B. King associated with the explosion of Blues music in the Delta and fortunately a historic Blues trail is in the works. I grew up watching the movie The Color Purple where Shug Avery used to sing at Harpo’s Jook Joint but never in a million years did it cross my mind that such places still existed. Well, yesterday not only did I find out such a place still exists, I actually got to experience a night at Po Monkey’s Jook Joint in Merigold, MS and I felt like I was in a scene right out of the movie. It is great to see that this place that was historically created to provide some entertainment and escape for black sharecroppers is still thriving and draws in a more integrated, age-varying crowd.

Today was quite a transition from the upbeat, toe-tapping fun experienced at the Jook Joint. We went to Parchman, the maximum security pentitiary in the state of Miss. Let me just say that if the words by Nat King Cole, “straighten up and fly right,” never meant anything to you, they truly will after experiencing a little time at Parchman. I hate comparing reality to movies, but oddly enough the condition for prisoners presented in the movie Life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence display a pretty good depiction of southern prison life that functions with an on-site agricultural economy. Of course, Murphy and Lawrence got to take a nice shower, change clothes and eat a good meal after filming a few scenes; this “luxury” is definitely not the case for Parchman inmates.