Bay St. Louis
This post is going to cover the span of a few days. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting, and I think I have a better idea of how I feel about the experience in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi now. I know it may have been a good idea to express some emotions as I went along, but they were too raw and I hadn’t really processed anything well enough to articulate them. So here we go…
We arrived in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi on Tuesday, after traveling from Montgomery/Selma, Alabama (which I still need to reflect on a bit and get a journal written about that!). It was a fairly long trip, but nothing compared to the first day. Towards the end of the drive we watched a video from a news story produced by CNN about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in Bay St. Louis. It was narrated by a CNN correspondent who is actually from Bay St. Louis and the first time she was seeing the destruction from the hurricane was on camera. As we were watching the video it showed the wreckage of the houses caused by the insanely high winds and the water which rose to levels of 30 to 40 feet. Then I looked out the window and realized that everything I was seeing on the video screen was right outside. Very little has changed in the last 2 years and it seems that not a lot is being done to rebuild the city. I don’t mean that nothing is being done in the sense that people aren’t working towards it, but it is hard to see the progress. Most of that has to do with the fact that people are still dealing with insurance companies and trying to get settlements that compensate for a reasonable amount of the damage (although it seems that isn’t usually the case). With all that said, I was shocked. This may sound completely ignorant, but I expected a lot more progress to have been made in a nearly 2 year time frame. A person I encountered while in Bay St. Louis made the comment that people have forgotten about the Mississippi Gulf Coast and have the ability to ignore the damage that was done by the hurricane. I was one of those people. I just figured, ok its been 2 years they have to be rebuilding and people lives are basically back to normal. I guess there were many components that I had not taken into account and my perception of time and the ability to rebuild were very skewed.
Just as a little side note before I get into some pretty heavy things, we stayed at a hotel with a casino while in Bay St. Louis. I can see how people get addicted to gambling. I did win quite a bit of money overall though.
So onto some things with a bit more substance… The morning after we arrived, we went to Hancock County Library to begin our service learning there. The first day we were introduced to the people we would be working with. We were given a bus tour of Bay St. Louis and Waveland. It was really hard to see the destruction of the storm, especially because earlier in the day we heard some stories and saw pictures. It was a very different experience to see the houses, or lack thereof, and trailers on properties where homes used to be. I think the thing that stood out to me the most was the story we heard from the retired director of the Hancock County libraries. Afterwards I felt a little bit resentful towards her, because its hard to hear someone talk about losing boats when you know other people lost everything. My opinion was completely changed the a couple days later when I had the chance to interview her. I realize it must have been hard to know what part of her story to tell when she was talking to the entire group. I can’t imagine reliving it over and over. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to explain myself very well with what I want to say. I guess I’ll preface myself by saying first impressions are not always what they seem. You have to dig deeper to find out more about a person. If you’re not willing to dig deeper then you may completely misjudge someone or not understand their perspective.
We spent all day Thursday doing oral histories of library employees and doing research of historical landmarks in the area that were destroyed by the hurricane. The two interviews I help conduct that day were interesting, but not emotionally moving in the way I expected. I was actually a little disappointed when I didn’t get something jucier. I know that sounds weird, but thinking about it later I hope the people won’t regret that they didn’t take advantage of the experience. The final day at the library a group of us were given the opportunity to interview the retired director. It was a completely opposite experience from the first day we listened to her speak to us. It was a more intimate setting, so she must’ve felt more comfortable to be open. I sat there as she spoke to us and I kept thinking to myself I wish everyone else could be here to listen to this. I know that wasn’t an option. I walked out of the interview incredibly drained, because I had judged her so wrongly before. She has been through so many things that I couldn’t even comprehend dealing with. Yeah she had significant advantage over other people in the community because of the connections she has to local government agencies, but she made a great point. No one in the community would be able to progress if people who have privilege don’t take advantage of it. (I may have completely butchered her words, but it was something along those lines). It is necessary for some people to progress so they can help others. I really don’t even know how to explain how I felt after listening to her story. I felt a little guilty, but at the same time I’m so glad I was able to talk to her. She is a really amazing lady. I’m not sure what else to say about that right now.